What makes someone a “good mother?”
I have found motherhood to be immensely harder than I ever imagined. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I look like a decent mother on the outside – my child is clothed, fed, and sheltered – but I feel myself falling short in every other area. Sometimes friends or family will make comments like, ” Oh. your are a good mother because you do x.” or “You’re a good mother because you don’t do y.” But they only see a tiny sliver of my life as a mom. I sometimes think that if they saw me as I really was, or if they saw me at my worst – no sleep, stressed out, and on the verge of emotional collapse – they would not be so quick to hand out the title of “good mother.”
Some days I just want to quit. I just want to run away and never look back. I wonder if other mothers feel this way, or if I’m just uniquely unequipped to take care of a baby. Either way, it’s a terrible feeling.
Today, the only definition of “good mother” I can live up to is, “One who doesn’t leave when it gets hard.” It’s a pathetic, but it’s all I have the energy to strive for at the moment.
I have refrained from full-on geek-out in this blog thus far, but it’s time for some nerdiness. In honor of Hulu’s free Stark Trek offering (for a limited time only), here are –
Top 10 Reasons Star Trek Voyager is awesome
- All the women kick serious ass.
- Creepiest bad guys. Case in point: the Vidiians, kidney snatchers of the galaxy.
- They fight the Borg. A lot.
- They also have a Borg on board, who also kicks serious ass. Also, Borg children. Basically, there’s just a lot of Borg.
- It’s the only Star Trek with a Native American as a main character.
- The Doctor.
- Many episodes involving time travel – before J.J. Abrams made it cool.
- They don’t kill off the expendable crewmen – I mean, Harry Kim.
- Their Scotty is a temperamental half-Klingon with a killer punch.
- Janeway, bitches. Recognize.
Sorry for being MIA the last few days. Kiddo’s just getting over a 10-day stomach bug and is now teething … so we aren’t getting much sleep. Hopefully I will be writing more once this is all over.
I’m so exhausted I physically hurt, but it’s ok. In a few weeks, my baby should be back to his happy, playing self. He’s a health boy. I don’t have to watch my baby suffer in the hospital, I don’t have to worry that he won’t grow up. I don’t have to be the parent who would kill to have their only worry be the stomach flu. However hard things seem now, it is temporary. I am lucky, or blessed. Whatever you want to call it. I don’t have anything to complain about.
See you soon.
I have been meaning to start this blog since my son was born. He’ll be eleven months old this week. All I can say is, thank god for naps. Also, thank god we live in a world where you can set up a blog in under 5 minutes, otherwise this would not be happening right now.
I have one son. He is the second love of my life (my husband is the first) and I would be lost without him. But good lord, does he wear me out! Especially now that I’m working full time. I know a lot of people would say that having only one child makes me unqualified to pontificate on the trials of motherhood. To which I say A) I’m not giving out advice here, so it’s not pontificating so much as journaling and B) you are entitled to your opinion, but I’m writing about it anyway. It keeps me sane. You are welcome to comment on how I don’t know what I’m talking about on any given post, and I won’t argue with you. Because the truth is, I am brand-new to motherhood, and I have no idea what I’m doing.
This blog is my place to vent, confess, whatever. If anyone reads it, I hope you find it entertaining. Peace out, ya’ll.