What makes someone a “good mother?”

What makes someone a “good mother?”

I have found motherhood to be immensely harder than I ever imagined. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I look like a decent mother on the outside – my child is clothed, fed, and sheltered – but I feel myself falling short in every other area. Sometimes friends or family will make comments like, ” Oh. your are a good mother because you do x.” or “You’re a good mother because you don’t do y.” But they only see a tiny sliver of my life as a mom. I sometimes think that if they saw me as I really was, or if they saw me at my worst – no sleep, stressed out, and on the verge of emotional collapse – they would not be so quick to hand out the title of “good mother.”

Some days I just want to quit. I just want to run away and never look back. I wonder if other mothers feel this way, or if I’m just uniquely unequipped to take care of a baby. Either way, it’s a terrible feeling.

Today, the only definition of “good mother” I can live up to is, “One who doesn’t leave when it gets hard.” It’s a pathetic, but it’s all I have the energy to strive for at the moment.

3 thoughts on “What makes someone a “good mother?”

  1. Everyone I think feels that way at some point. Mostly I think you’re a good parent, if you bother to stop and evaluate yourself and even ASK “Am I doing this right?” the worst parents are the ones who just don’t CARE about parenting. They figure the bare minimum is good enough, and sleep soundly without fretting over their kids.
    Parents who are all about ME ME ME! raise the worst kids because their too wrapped up in their own wants and needs to recognize their kids need more than just minimal supervision, toys, and to be fed.
    Forgive me if I’m a little ranty, I’ve seen a few examples of obnoxious kids… as a result of uninvolved parents… lately, and it just drives me crazy. Get off your cell phone and TALK to your child! Esp when your kid is being a bully, doing something dangerous, or throwing tantrums at the playground, you need to be engaged. Agh!

    You, I know, are doing a good job, mostly because you’re one of the most considerate and caring people I know. You’re awesome!

  2. I may not be a mom yet, but I know that your shortcomings do not mean you are NOT a good mother. Your love for your son alone makes you an incredible mother. Being a mom is a day-in, day-out sacrifice, and you choose each day to make that sacrifice. You’re going to mess up. You’re going to fail sometimes. You’re going to feel like running away and screaming some days. And that’s okay. Because at the end of the day, you love your son too much to be away from him and you’d do pretty much anything for him. 🙂 I may only see slivers of your life… but I know you and I know you’re wonderful! Not perfect, but wonderful.

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